Revenge is Sweet

Every week the medical staff would meet and evaluate each and every patient.  I knew that a portion of the conversation was to determine discharge dates.  Generally the goal was to get patients moving on within two weeks.  I knew deep down my time was to be extended, as much as I was dreading staying, I knew I was staying.

I had just returned from Physical Therapy, my nurse rushed in to give me my next dose of antibiotics.  In the middle of the administration, my social worker came in to update my board.  She smiled at me and said,

"We have a new discharge date for you.  It isn't the 24th of July anymore, but the 7th of August."

My nurse snickered under her breath, as the nurse ran out of the room.  

"Why keep you longer?"  I was constantly asking the same thing to myself, even though I knew I needed more time, and alot more strength was necessary to survive the real world.  My therapists all were constantly saying how well I was doing and how much progress I had made.

"Well we can make this last two weeks real easy, just say you are in an extreme amount of pain."  We laughed and laughed.  This was a nurse that everytime she was stuck with me, without fail could get the best of me.  

That night at shift change, she was introducing the night nurse, who had a new student shadowing that night.  She came in, I immediately turned on the waterworks.  

"Aaww AAAWWWW, my head, my head hurts, I can't see.  The oncoming night nurse, panicked.  She had been my nurse on many occasions and knew that I was an easy patient, that I never complained unless something was seriously wrong.  This in turn had the student completely jazzed, thinking this was going to be an interesting night.  

My nurse, looked at me with daggers in her eyes, and knew exactly what I was doing.  So of course, the drama was turned up more.  The more I complained, the more frazzled the oncoming night nurse got, and the deeper the hole my day nurse dug.  The night nurse began demanding an explanation.  

"Just ignore him!"  Was all she could say.  She made the mistake of making eye contact with me, so again I upped the chaos.  

"What can we give him, has anything been ordered?"  The night nurse demanded.

"Don't give him anything, Just ignore him.  Whatever he needs, just ignore him all night."

At this point I was full on laughing, which was causing pain, but the more it hurt the more I laughed.

.  She too was laughing, so she had to explain the situation. “Dang You,” (edited for content), was all she could look at me and say.  I'm going to get fired for this.  We laughed and laughed.  

That was the last shift she was my nurse, she went on vacation, but the story quickly spread through the hospital.  I had several visits from nurses thanking me for someone finally getting the best of that nurse, she was notorious for practical jokes.  So nurse, if this finds you, you know who you are, thanks for making me a popular patient.  You made my last few weeks with the nurses real easy.

The morale of this post is the same as several others.  Find Joy, in all that we do.  Find ways to laugh, even when it hurts. 

- Nate Taylor