Quicksand
Everyday we have an incredible blessing and opportunity to start over, to re-commit.
I find myself getting stuck in quicksand and can waste an entire day. I will battle every demon I can see, just to get tripped by reality. Things can be moving along and seemingly progressing, when suddenly I am sinking. It might be a simple step, or a crack in the cement, or my favorite a rug or floor mat. "Seriously? It is only one step." or "It is just a box of macaroni and cheese, it should only take ten minutes." Then there is my new favorite, "No problem, I can get there." When reality says, who is going to get you there, and you are in way to much pain and still need a nap or you won't make it to two o'clock. Every time reality rears its ugly face, it takes the breath right out of me. Just seven or eight months ago, it wouldn't have been a seconds thought, whereas now its full concentration and commitment, Go or No-Go. The frustration this creates is worse than any i have ever experienced. Admitting that I just got beat up by a rug or let's not even talk about a lego.
Guess what you didn't lift your toe high enough and that floor rug just kicked your butt.
Guess what you left your bag upstairs, that is sixteen stairs, two rugs, two doors, and however many of the kids going to run in between you and your bag. Oh and don't forget, "you are the clonus king, and you can't put your foot on the ground without it bouncing every step. Besides you just managed that obstacle course to get down here and you need a twenty minute power nap just to have the energy to psych yourself up to face the stairs again.
Something that has been an on going process is "the new normal." In a conversation with one of my brothers in arms, who I have mentioned a few times in these posts, we are both realizing that there is no such thing as the "normal." What is normal? Everyday just the same as the day before??? Even eight and a half weeks, laid up in the hospital, I learned that isn't the case. Different people; food; even our thought processes are different day to day, hour to hour, minute to...squirrel.
See already lost my train of thought.
I/we have to measure each day, one at a time. Take each moment and live in that moment. Easier said than done, but the truth is, find a lesson in that moment, and find the joy in that lesson. Take the moments necessary to meditate, ponder and pray. Take time to learn something new or like me, re-learn something not so new. Take every second as a real gift from the Maker, and try not to spoil it.
-Nate Taylor
I find myself getting stuck in quicksand and can waste an entire day. I will battle every demon I can see, just to get tripped by reality. Things can be moving along and seemingly progressing, when suddenly I am sinking. It might be a simple step, or a crack in the cement, or my favorite a rug or floor mat. "Seriously? It is only one step." or "It is just a box of macaroni and cheese, it should only take ten minutes." Then there is my new favorite, "No problem, I can get there." When reality says, who is going to get you there, and you are in way to much pain and still need a nap or you won't make it to two o'clock. Every time reality rears its ugly face, it takes the breath right out of me. Just seven or eight months ago, it wouldn't have been a seconds thought, whereas now its full concentration and commitment, Go or No-Go. The frustration this creates is worse than any i have ever experienced. Admitting that I just got beat up by a rug or let's not even talk about a lego.
Guess what you didn't lift your toe high enough and that floor rug just kicked your butt.
Guess what you left your bag upstairs, that is sixteen stairs, two rugs, two doors, and however many of the kids going to run in between you and your bag. Oh and don't forget, "you are the clonus king, and you can't put your foot on the ground without it bouncing every step. Besides you just managed that obstacle course to get down here and you need a twenty minute power nap just to have the energy to psych yourself up to face the stairs again.
Something that has been an on going process is "the new normal." In a conversation with one of my brothers in arms, who I have mentioned a few times in these posts, we are both realizing that there is no such thing as the "normal." What is normal? Everyday just the same as the day before??? Even eight and a half weeks, laid up in the hospital, I learned that isn't the case. Different people; food; even our thought processes are different day to day, hour to hour, minute to...squirrel.
See already lost my train of thought.
I/we have to measure each day, one at a time. Take each moment and live in that moment. Easier said than done, but the truth is, find a lesson in that moment, and find the joy in that lesson. Take the moments necessary to meditate, ponder and pray. Take time to learn something new or like me, re-learn something not so new. Take every second as a real gift from the Maker, and try not to spoil it.
-Nate Taylor
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