The Measure of a Man

A battle buddy reached out to me this week, one who I personally know has faced the devil and his demons, he squared off toe to toe and eye to eye for over ten years.  I am proud and excited to say for the first time in as many years, is winning the battle, and has found strength and joy.  He is more than my buddy, he is my brother.  He is an example of strength and determination.  We joke all the time about where the journey has taken him/us, and recognize no matter how dark the path, we have always found the light.  A song that relates and has become a favorite for us and many veterans battling PTSD is Wrong Side of Heaven.  It brings awareness to the daily battle many veterans face every day. Mental Illness in any form is real and extremely serious.  Too often we miss signs, and simply say, "Just get over it."  When we don't know what demons our loved ones are fighting.  The torment and darkness a person battling any form of mental i...

The theme or topic I an focusing on this month is a tough one. It comes in so many different varieties and can debilitate even the strongest; most popular; funniest or most normal person. An analogy came to mind and as I began to ponder and research my thoughts, turns out I'm not the only one that uses it, so here goes anyway. One of my favorite weapon systems that I had the privilege of building a fond memory and relationship with is the M2 .50 caliber machine gun. Those blessed to at least familiarize themselves with this beautiful and blessed sweet talker, know the power and down right devastation she can spread in a short amount of time.  This is where my analogy ties in. If the Ma Deuce isn't taken care of or is neglected, she can become a disaster. Each time the M2 was cleaned or reassembled a Headspace and timing check was apart of the function test of the weapon system. When everything was dress right dress, she performed like a champ. But if a person neglected...

The intention of this post is to muster conversations and inspire thoughts and comments. Everyone in their life faces times of uncertainty of pain, or even fear and doubt. The question I raise and look forward to the discussions that follow is this... Why in these times of chaos and question, even when a person is surrounded by friends and loved ones and incredible support, I would even add assistance, both physical and/or financial, do people often feel the most alone or empty? Please comment with your thoughts and feelings. My thoughts and feelings as well as my attempt to answer. There has been an underlying trend and thought process over the last few posts that addresses, at least a part, of what I feel are contributing factors to this conundrum. There is the ongoing discussion of goals and dreams vs. contentment or satisfaction, along with the complacency or gratitude. I have spent time reading, studying and pondering; as well as exercising (getting my butt kicked in therapy...

Squeezing into the MRI dungeon, I mean tube, never gets any easier. Although I will admit being crammed inside without 10000000 extra pillows and towels to support my arm and shoulder, do make it more endurable. I have now successfully completed two full scans without needing to be drugged. To me this is both a huge win, but also a huge miracle. The thought of again being squished into a sardine can causes a ridiculous amount of anxiety, so the fact I have made it twice in a row without heavy medications seems unreal. After the scans, I have now been blessed to have three additional months before I need to worry about treatment (Chemo and radiation), or about being jammed into the tube again. I just completed my six- month scans and tests, and for now at least everything is status quo, the tumor is unchanged since my three-month scans in October. This is both a blessing and a miserable reality of what is ahead. My oncologist admitted how little is known about the type of tumor,...